Watching Natasha being so emotional in endgame it makes sense now because of Yelena
I always thought Natasha was really effected by the blip but I thought most of her friends were still alive but then I watched the Hawkeye show and find out that Yelena was blipped and it makes so much more sense now that she was trying so hard to get her baby sister back even to the point of her dying
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But I feel the same way about Monica not showing up on the blipped either and Carol being more affected by that than being sad about Fury, which she should have been. Oh well.
For her, it's her way to repent and make amends for the person that she was and the things she did as a widow. Her whole journey has been to clear the red from her ledger, and her failure contributing to so much loss of life is something weighing heavily on her.
To her they not only lost, but she lost her chance to redeem herself